Are you dreaming about a snow day tomorrow? Us too. We’ve got the generator locked and loaded with a full tank of gas, and we’ve already made a low-ball offer to the enterprising lad down the street to shovel our sidewalk and driveway. Why? So that we can take full advantage of this gift from Old Man Winter and binge-watch Netflix as the snow falls and the world around us comes to a freezing halt.
Seasoned winter veterans that we are, we know that a snow storm like this is no occasion for a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. That’s amateur hour. If you want to win the day, you’ve got a fuel like a winner, and that means artfully pairing meals with your viewing choices. Fortunately, Perrotti’s is here to help you put together a winning strategy for Tuesday’s blizzard. The following are recommended pairings for your favorite TV shows/movies.
Parks & Rec accompanied by multiple Porterhouse Steaks
We’re no stranger to Leslie Knope’s love affair with waffles, but we can’t imagine that JJ’s Diner ever delivered the type of joy that Ron Swanson experiences plowing through three steaks in a single sitting. Plus, we’re a butcher shop. What did you expect?
Breaking Bad with a bucket of Castro’s Chicken
We never got a taste of the chicken from Los Pollos Hermanos in Breaking Bad, but I always imagined it being amazing. Frankly, I can’t imagine Gus Fring putting his name on any product that wasn’t meticulously crafted to amaze, whether that’s a successful regional chicken franchise or an international crystal meth operation.
Grey’s Anatomy with a half-gallon of Gifford’s Ice Cream… no bowl necessary
How else are you gonna get in touch with all your feels?
The Office with a heaping bowl of Meat or Chicken Chili
If I could go back in time to watch my older brother picking on me, I suspect I’d feel the same sense of profound sadness for myself that I do for Kevin Malone as he spills a 5-gallon vat of chili all over the office. Tomorrow I’m going to try watching the clip below while I wolf down some chili of my own and see if I can send Kevin some of mine Wonka-vision style.
Harry Potter with a Corned Beef Sandwich
Ron just couldn’t get into his mom’s corned beef sandwich. Then again, Ron was kind of an idiot. Even so, we think that little git would get psyched for the corned beef sandwich we’re rolling out this week special for St. Paddy’s Day.
NCAA Tournament Play-in Games with Buffalo Chicken Wings
New Orleans vs. Mt. St. Mary’s at 6:40 followed by Wake Forest vs. Kansas State at 9:10, don’t you dare try to welcome the drama of March Madness with an empty stomach.
Pulp Fiction with a Tasty Burger
We all know that Big Kahuna Burger makes a tasty burger. That’s no secret. But I’m willing to bet that Samuel L. Jackson would have let those poor saps live if they’d been able to serve him one of our burgers on a fresh brioche roll. You should get one for yourself, just to ease the tension.
When Harry Met Sally with an Ovengold Turkey Sandwich
Personally, I think that our Ovengold Turkey Sandwich could get Meg Ryan as fired up as she did in her iconic diner scene with Billy Crystal, but for real. Then again, I’m a man, so I’m probably wrong.
Goodfellas with Meatballs and Sauce
I’m not trying to disrespect Vinny’s tomato sauce. He may have used too many onions, but he was still making it prison, so I’ll give him a tip of the cap based on degree of difficulty alone. That said, I think that Pauly would rather room with us once he had a taste of our sauce.
Road House with a Meat and Cheese-only Anti Pasta… Shirtless
Vegetables are a staple of any well-rounded diet, and we’ve got plenty of them to go around. But you don’t become the best cooler in the business or earn Swayze-esque abdominals without firing down a wheel of meat and cheese on the reg. Without it, you may as well be one of those dudes that Jimmy used to hang out with in prison.